Fill My Cup, Lord ... with Trust Mark 6:30-44

The disciples -who in this story are called apostles or "sent ones"- are fresh from their first missionary assignment -having been sent out by Jesus to preach and teach, to heal the sick and cast out demons. They are excited by what they have experienced and exhausted from the journey. How wonderful it must have sounded to their road weary hearts to hear Jesus say, "Come away to a deserted place all by yourselves and rest a while." How disappointed they must have felt when they docked their little boat and headed up the hill only to be greeted by anxious, eager, longing, needy people -all of them wanting something! How frustrated they must have been when Jesus began to talk with the people, sharing with them the message of God's love and grace. As the day wore on I can well imagine them fidgeting and thinking to themselves, "How long is he going to talk? Has he forgotten about us and our need to rest? We haven't even had a chance to eat and we're getting pretty hungry." Finally when they couldn't take it any longer they quietly called Jesus aside and feigning concern for the crowds said to him, "Jesus, its almost supper time. These folks are a long way from home. Don't you think you better send them on their way so they can get something to eat before all the restaurants close?" How utterly surprised they must have been when Jesus looked at them and said simply, "You give them something to eat."

"Jesus, are you suffering from sunstroke? Have you noticed how many people are here? It would cost us nearly six months wages to buy enough food to feed all these people. Be realistic Jesus. There is no way we can feed all them, so just send them home and let us be about sharing the little bit of food we brought with us."

All the disciples could see was their lack -their lack of money, their lack of food, their lack of energy, their lack of everything that was needed to feed more than 5,000 people. Despite the fact that they had just experienced God's love empowering them to heal those who were sick; despite all Jesus had taught them about God's inexhaustible abundance and limitless blessing; despite the miracles they had witnessed and the hope they had felt, all they could see was what they didn't have -which was enough food to feed the crowd.

How often we've been right there with those disciples! How often we've looked at our lives and seen only what we don't have. How often we have looked around this church and seen only what we lack. Who can blame us? I mean after all just listen to the news. It's all about how bad the economy is; how many people have lost their jobs, lost their homes, lost their retirement savings. If we number among those who have lost, we know just what a struggle it is to hang on. If we haven't been touched by lay-offs or salary cuts or decreasing income from our retirement investments, we wonder when this recession will hit us. We live with a palpable fear all around us. How bad will it get? And the worse things get, the more hungry people there are. Whether those hungers are for bread or for hope, for shelter or for peace, Jesus says to us, "You give them something to eat."

In the midst of their insistence on scarcity, Jesus invited the disciples to see in a new way. "What do you have?"

"Five loaves and two fish -barely enough to feed you and the twelve of us."

"Five loaves and two fish -in God's hands more than enough! Bring it to me!"

Then as one commentary[1] on this passage observes, "When they bring him what they have, he uses it to feed the whole crowd of five thousand (one loaf per thousand) and there are enough leftovers to assure one whole basket for each of the twelve disciples."

From the fear of scarcity to the blessings of abundant supply; disciples then and now are called to focus on the truth that what they already have, in God's hands, is more than enough.

She was going through a very difficult time both emotionally and financially. She had lost the ministry job she loved and ended her marriage all in the course of a few short months. She had a very part time accounting job -thank God for her first career- and a small amount of spousal support coming in each month, but it wasn't enough to pay the bills and eat. In the midst of her angst about how she was going to survive even one more month she happened to run into an old friend who was involved in a fund raiser for the local battered women's shelter. Not knowing anything about her financial woes, her friend asked if she would consider buying some raffle tickets. Checking her purse she discovered that she had $5 -the last of her cash -with no more money available until payday two weeks away. Never-the-less without a second thought, she exchanged the $5 for five raffle tickets. She had no thought of winning anything; she didn't even know what the prizes were! She just knew this was a cause she needed to support. Imagine her surprise when she received a call from her friend the next day telling her that she had won the grand prize: $200 in grocery gift certificates. Enough, as it turned out, to get her through until she found a second part time job; more than enough to feed her spirit and renew her trust.

Their street was like so many suburban neighborhoods, Mom and Dad both working and the kids in day care or left to fend for themselves. They all had nice houses and all the gadgets and gismos that were signs of the good life, so when they were home they kept pretty much to themselves occupied with all their stuff. They barely knew their neighbors. Oh, they'd wave at one another in the midst of their comings and goings, but that was just about it. All was well, or so they thought.

Then it happened she lost her job, a casualty of the recession. As they soon discovered the same thing was happening to several of their neighbors. Shared calamity and more time at home seemed to open the door to new relationships. All of them were just barely hanging on -able to cut expenses more than they had ever dreamed possible. But as weeks turned into months with no job prospects, their fear was mounting. Then it happened, her washing machine broke. There was no money to repair it or take the laundry to the Laundromat. As she lamented to her neighbors one morning one of them said, "You can use my washer. It sits idle much of the time." She did, grateful beyond measure for the offer. Not long after that another one of their neighbors announced that her vacuum broke. Again, there was nothing extra for repairs. "Hey, just use mine," she offered joyfully. "I only use it once or twice a week. Just let me know when you need it. I'm sure we can work out a schedule."

A few weeks later as they were talking, the neighbors began to reflect on what was happening among them -friendships blooming, sharing resources, feeling somehow blessed even in the midst of their hardships.

When we -like the disciples focus on what we don't have- fear grows. But if we dare to trust that what we already have, in God's hands is more than enough, we too will experience miracles of abundance beyond our wildest dreams.

Fill our cups, Lord, with trust! Amen