From Darkness to Light
At the Graveside
John 11:1-45
March 9, 2008
Rev. Nancy Pfaltzgraf
At the graveside -a place we'd rather not find ourselves, because, if we are at the graveside then, more often than not, someone we love and care about has died. And if we are at the graveside, if we have ever been at graveside, we know in a deep inexplicable way the pain Mary and Martha felt that day. We also know the feelings that prompted their initial words to Jesus when each of them met him at the graveside:
"If you had been here Lazarus would still be alive!"
"We sent for you! Why didn't you come?"
"We prayed; why wasn't he healed?"
"We cried out; why didn't you answer?"
"If you had only been here....."
Yes, we know, all too well, what it's like at the graveside! We also know that we stand at many gravesides throughout our lives; not just the graves that mark the death of a loved one, but the graves that mark the death of our dreams, the death of relationship, the death of who we thought we were, the death of our physical ability that comes with the diagnosis of a life-altering illness, the death of a career, the death of ....; yes, like it or not, we stand at many gravesides and sometimes we wonder is there truly any light to be found in the darkness of grief and loss?
As Jesus stood at the graveside with Mary and Martha, he knew the answer to that question. He knew it in the core of his being. He felt it in the tears on his cheeks and the pain in his own heart. He saw it in the glimpse of a future only God could see. And if we have ears to hear and eyes to see we catch a glimpse of that light as Jesus says, "I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live, and everyone who lives and believes in me will never die."[John 11:25-26] We catch it as we see Lazarus walk out of the tomb and hear Jesus say to those gathered at the graveside, "Unbind him, and let him go." [John 11:44b]
But we need to remember we are reading the gospel of John where every story must be understood on many levels and every word Jesus speaks points beyond himself to the one who is the Creator and Lover of the whole world. In this story, Jesus seems to take for granted the reality that there will be a resurrection of the dead, that there is life after death, and that we will spend eternity embraced in the heart of Divine Love. That is not what is in question here. The resurrection and the life Jesus is talking about is not some far off distant event, but rather a quality of life which is available here and now. So what this story invites us to trust is that there is a power alive in us and in our world right now. And that power is stronger than any force set against it. It is the power of Divine Love to heal and to transform, to touch and to renew, to empower and to set free. And this story invites us to trust that no matter how hidden that power seems, no matter how unavailable it appears to be, no matter how slow it seems to be in arriving it will come. In fact it is already here, already at work in ways we cannot see and often fail to understand.
In 1997 when I resigned from the church I had been serving for 15 years, something in me died. As I drove home that last day, I knew with absolute certainty I was not only leaving that congregation, but I was leaving pastoral ministry and the church itself. Since the moment of my birth church had been intertwined with my entire life and my grief was profound.
For many months I existed in a tomb of deep despair, overwhelmed by my own pain even as I sought to walk with those who were facing their own death in my new job as a Hospice Chaplain. It was one of the darkest times I have ever experienced. During this time the only glimmer of light came as my friends Tom and Yolanda gently and lovingly listened to my pain and held my tears in their hearts. Then, after a long, long time Tom began to call me out of the grave by suggesting that I might want to look for a church I could just attend. On my first attempt to do so I spent the entire service in tears, not because of anything that was said or done, but because my pain was still so intense. Finally, however, I found my way to a congregation called the Community of the Living Spirit, and there I eventually began to experience healing and hope.
Some time after that, because of my work as a Hospice Chaplain, I was invited to be a presenter at a workshop dealing with the Church and its response to AIDS. During the worship that concluded that event, I heard Christ say to me "you may think you are done with the church, but I'm not done with you and the church." Then I saw myself in pulpit after pulpit, proclaiming the power of God's love to bring healing and hope.
So it was that I came to you as your Interim Pastor in October, 1998. Most of you didn't notice the fact that I was still wrapped in grave clothes. Most of you didn't know that by your love and your acceptance, by the ways in which you responded to my ministry, by the openness with which you embraced my new and crazy ideas, you unbound me and set me free."
At the graveside or in the tomb we wait and weep. But the story of Mary and Martha and Lazarus invites us to trust that there is one who will always come bringing resurrection and new life. It promises that the power of God's Love is alive in us and in our world and it will bring peace in the midst of chaos, joy out of the depths of despair, a hope that never dies and a love that never ceases. In the ones who stand with us and weep; in the ones who encourage us to step into the light; in the ones who unbind us and set us free; in the beating of our own hearts and the very air that we breathe Christ comes again to proclaim that even at the graveside when all hope is gone, the power of Divine Love will bring new life. Amen.
