Sermon: You Don't Know How It Feels

I have. And I have to admit that I sometimes do not reach out for help. I feel like no one understands what I'm going through - that no one "gets it".

This isn't a new thing for me. When I was younger, I was sure that my experiences were unique. If I had trouble at school, or if I had a romantic breakup, I was alone. If someone told me I would get over it, I would retort:

"You don't know how it feels!"

Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever felt you had a unique experience no one else could understand?

Has it ever kept you from reaching out for help?

The other side of reaching out for help is reaching out to help. We talk a lot about helping others, but there are different ways to relate to people in need.

Once a month, Bertha treats herself to a trip to downtown Chicago. She loves to walk down Michigan Avenue and visit the shops. She's far from wealthy, but when she has a little extra cash she buys something nice for herself. She is often asked for change by panhandlers, and last time she took pity on a woman with a young child of about 8 years. She gave her a ten dollar bill and hoped things would get better for them.

Pity is feeling sorry for someone. We don't have to share the feelings of the other person to pity them; we merely recognize they're having a problem. We might offer some help, or at least hope things get better.

Asa came home one day to find Josephine crying outside the apartment building. Josephine's belongings were at the curb, and he knew she had been evicted. Asa's heart went out to her - especially knowing that she had a young daughter. Asa cried himself to sleep that night thinking about them.

Sympathy is "sameness of feeling", or "feeling with" another person. When we are sympathetic, we share the feelings of the other person. If someone is grieving, we sympathetically grieve with that person.

Alice is an outreach worker at a local shelter. She found Josephine and her eight year old daughter Zoe on the street in the middle of the night. Alice talked to Josephine about her fear of being on the street, her hopes for the future, and the mixed feelings of betrayal and relief of being abandoned by her abusive husband.

Empathy is "feeling into" another person's situation. In empathy, we put ourselves into the place of the other, understanding the situation more fully.

Of course, it's easier to feel empathy if we've actually experienced the same, or similar, situation.

When I was little, I would sometimes fall down and get hurt. And when I did, I would often cry... loudly. Sometimes my dad would mock me: "it's the worst hurt I ever had in my whole life!"

My dad knew, of course, that I really did hurt, and that the kind of pain I was experiencing at that time was among the worst I had felt so far in my life.

When I started to have asthma attacks, my dad could identify with that because he, too, had asthma. It's rather fortunate that some problems are hereditary, I think, because it means one or both of our parents may have some experience with it.

On this first Sunday after Christmas, we're still thinking of baby Jesus, born in a stable and sleeping in a manger. At the end of his ministry, Jesus experienced death. We talk a lot about Jesus's humble birth and sacrificial death, but we don't talk as much about Jesus's sacrificial life.

Jesus would experience much of human life - growing up, having friends. Jesus would feel hungry and thirsty, warm and cold. Although it's not documented, Jesus would undoubtedly have relatives pass away in the time before his ministry began.

And Jesus would experience temptation in the desert.

During Jesus's ministry, what did he experience? While Jesus did indeed have some popularity, he also had family and friends who doubted him.

Have any of you ever experienced anything like that?

He met leaders who wouldn't listen.

Have any of you ever experienced anything like that?

He had followers - friends - who argued with him, betrayed him, and even denied ever knowing him.

Have any of you ever experienced anything like that?

And in the garden of Gethsemene, it seems Jesus experienced a bit of fear about what was to come, asking God whether he could "have this cup pas from me".

Have any of you ever experienced anything like that?

Unlike the angels who visited people from time to time, Jesus did live a human life. Jesus knows how it feels to be human. This is why Jesus was born human, lived with humans, and died as a human.

When we pray to Jesus, we don't pray to someone who doesn't know how it feels. We pray to someone who has lived as a human being, someone who has struggled with many of the same things we do.

Jesus has empathy with us.

And yet, as Christians, there's something more. If we are to be the body of Christ, then we also should care for each other: not mere pity, and not only sympathy, but empathy with each other. We should seek to understand each other's loses and gains, our strengths and weaknesses. And this responsibility is not limited to our families, our church, or our faith. We are responsible to care about all human beings.

Care is more than just giving an item or money to help a person in need. Care is more than being sad because someone else is sad. Care is understanding the challenges and joys of other people.

Care is understanding the single mother who, regardless of how she got into the situation of being a single mother, is challenged by her need to care for her children and the need to earn money to pay for food and shelter.

Care is understanding the people struggling with violence in a war- and terrorism-torn country, and their hope for peace.

Care is understanding the plight of people choosing between starvation and illegally crossing a border

Care means understanding, which is more complicated than feeling sorry. Care means sometimes not having an answer. Care means working toward a real solution instead of settling for a quick fix.

In this church, we have the opportunity to understand the people we serve with Foods Resource Bank, and the people we serve at Daybreak shelter. Although we may not have had the exact same circumstances, we have known anxiety, hunger, and loneliness.

As humans, we do know how it feels. And as someone who has lived a human life, Jesus does know how it feels. When we need help, we have each other and Jesus to turn to. And when we're doing better, we can be part of that help for others.

At any given time, some of us may be struggling. Some of us may feel very alone.

As we enter this new year, I challenge each of us to reach out to care for each other, and to seek that care when we need it.

And we should always be ready to talk to Jesus. Jesus knows how it feels.